then who do these presidential candidates represent?
Obama – He was the cool black kid in your high school. Or, as they would have called him back then, a mulatto. He was smart as hell, probably more serious than your average teenager, but still drank and even smoked some pot now and then. You knew he was going to be somebody some day, maybe a politician or a scientist, or even a teacher. Probably got along with every clique in school because he was searching for where he belonged.
Biden – A bit jockish, but not a prick. You could count on him to be your friend and not betray you. Was reliable in a fight and knew how to win, too. Probably owned a hand-me-down old car with a solid V-8 that he liked to race on dark stretches of country road on Friday nights. Kept his nose clean for the most part, but liked the wild side too and could be a bit of a rebel.
McCain – Had an affinity with the crowd that had student council aspirations. If he was a jock, he was the prickish kind, a bit too cocky and full of himself. Considered himself better than his peers becuase of his family’s military pedigree and wasn’t afraid to tell you so. A little bored with the classroom life and itching to get out and follow in the footsteps of his father and grandfather. Knew he wanted to kill people and break things and couldn’t wait to get started.
Palin – The small-town high school cheerleader and athlete that every boy wanted to screw. Intense and driven, she could be friendly but mean if you crossed her or spoke behind her back. And she had a long memory of who her friends and enemies were. The pretty girl with kind-of a brain, she figured she’d do just fine in life relying on her looks, mostly.




8 users commented in " If life is like high school… "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackThis all made me laugh, half because it was so funny, half because it’s so dead-on. “A bit jockish but not a prick.” What a great line.
Thanks, John. I don’t know about you, but I’m really looking forward to the vice presidential debate!
Me too. But since you’ve raised the issue, we’re dying to know more about how you’d like to screw Ms. Palin. That’s a level of frankness that we married writers and those with kids don’t really get to explore publicly. So please, let us live vicariously through your frankness.
I went to Bay High. We only had one black kid in our school and his name was Marc not Obama.
John, that’s what boys at her high school thought, no doubt.
As for dreaming of Palin, I’ll let the incomparable Erin O’Brien do the talking:
http://erin-obrien.blogspot.com/2008/09/dreamlet.html
But those adolescent boys must have also known that they’d carnally pursue “Sarah Barracuda” only at their own risk.
Two words… err acronyms
G.O.P. M.I.L.F.
Can’t argue with that…
Leave A Reply